How To Deal With Skyfall

How To Deal With......Skyfall

                                                

By now everyone has heard of and loved Skyfall, James Bonds 23rd outing, directed by Sam Mendes and starring Daniel Craig as James Bond and Adele singing the epic theme song, which has been the subject of many cringeworthy puns that I will not create eyerolls by repeating.

The film follows Bond as he deals with what can only be described as a mega mid-life crisis. Which when you think about is more justified than buying a sports car or dating much younger women considering he gets shot during an amazing action sequence in the first 10 minutes.

Oh yeah.......... This includes spoilers....*Awkward silence* but if you haven't seen this film yet then there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.

Anyway the film revolves around Bond's recovery and rebirth as an older wiser agent and features him doing what he does best. Daniel Craig proves he can do much more than waddle out of the ocean in this darker, smarter role as 007 - seriously there is more angst in the first hour of this film than the first 4 series of Skins - and he is complimented by a fine supporting cast. With a new Q, a new Moneypenny and a new M, the whole team is bigger and badder and definitely deserves to be after facing the villain Silva played by Javier Bardem who manages to pull of the very unhinged but smart villain which is better than previous ones who seem like Sharpay from High School Musical compared to this mastermind.

Naturally all the things that make Bond the number 1 of being awesome, Ethan Hunt and Jason Bourne can suck it, and only equaled by Indiana Jones *Heavenly Music* are included in the movie like beating up thugs, fast cars and killer action sequences, women and one of those women dying...........Not one of the things that make it great but you get the drift. 

The only thing that would make this movie greater would be being given free food and one of the cars 007 gets to drive just so you can sit in the garage and feel the fan blowing on your face. Yeah I'm too young to drive so that's as good as it gets. 

Anyway instead of my usual three things, I'm only going to give you two reasons to watch Skyfall.

1)  It is easily the best Bond film yet and is just all degrees of amazing.

2) I told you to.

Attention Seekers

How To Deal With.....Attention Seekers

Attention Seekers. 

The most annoying group of people to ever walk the face of the Earth. Everyone knows one. Those kind of people that always update or talk about how fat and ugly they are and how no one will ever love them - *insert crying face* - and fish for compliments so deep you just want to tell them it's all going to get better.....

Or hit them with a brick.

I'm going to let you in on a secret here : No one likes an attention seeker. Not only will you come across as desperate, annoying and pathetic but you will make whoever you are talking to feel like North Korea should just nuke us and put them out of their misery. Don't get me wrong, people can be insecure and have low self esteem but wanting everyone you know to tell you that you are amazing is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *pause for breath* oooooooooo stupid, not to mention pathetic!!!!



Ok, so you're weird or ugly or fat or stupid (or in other words, a real life troll) but embrace what you are and make it your own. Get a new weave or new clothes or exercise a little or get friends but don't be desperate. If you have to start conversations and restart them when the other person stops talking, you need to get a life or change it up a little.

So if you are reading this and you think you are an attention seeker, here are three things you can do to become a well liked and respected member of the community :

1) Become More Confident With A New Look Or New Attitude

2) Get New Friends Who Like You For You

If these things don't seem to work and you still upload crying faces onto social media then here's the last fool proof way to change..........

3) Don't Talk To Me Ever

How To Deal With KE$HA

How To Deal With...... KE$HA

KE$HA

                                                                          

                                                 


OK people, by now there is no one on Earth who hasn't heard of the walking pile of drug abuse and bad decisions otherwise known as Ke$ha or as I like to call her - "Taylor Swift after a party in Dagenham".

Here's a little information on it.          Oops I meant her. 

Unlike contrary belief,  Ke$ha didn't emerge when toxic waste hit a glittery sewer, she was born as Kesha Rose Sebert on March 1st 1987. I really cannot be bothered to write any more why she turned into whatever she is now but I will tell you why she is worthy of my hate.

Ke$ha has contributed such failures as "Your Love Is My Drug" and "Die Young", the second of which she still hasn't done......... Kidding....Not Kidding.... The main message of any Ke$ha song is how to get drunk and catch an STD. Somehow they have made their way into the Top40 and have proved time after time that music has gone downhill since the days of the Crazy Frog *Dreamy Flashback*.



Now you might wonder why a 16 year old guy would have such an issue with people acting a bit crazy like Ke$ha so here are three reasons:

1) Her music is horrible.......Just horrible.....It's worse than sitting through an Adam Sandler Movie

2) She sends out a pretty bad message and I would know *Shout out to Adolf Whitelock*

3) She dresses like she got dragged through Lindsay Lohan's toilet.